With regards to Amanda: No-one's seriously suggesting we save her. If anyone is suggesting that, Mac's probably gonna eat them. So let's rule that one off the list.
See, now I'm torn between letting Amanda die and defying Mac. It wouldn't be an issue if her love of cephalopods didn't overshadow her love of arthropods (who are, as Jesus--not the figure head of Christianity but a very respected biologist from Central America--has proven, the most awesome phylum in the animal kingdom).
With regards to Paul: Okay, so he is infected, but look at that ass. How could you not want a bit of that, huh?
... Oh, hell, no...
With regards to Cameraman: His name is not Dean. It is Cameraman. I don't see what's so hard to understand about this. He doesn't get to have multiple names, because his name is Cameraman. It really isn't a difficult concept to understand.
That's like saying Superman can't be Clark Kent, Batman can't be Bruce Wayne, Spider-Man can't be Bruce Wayne (it's an elaborate plan: if anyone ever figures out that Bruce Wayne is Batman he can say, "Uh, no I'm not; I'm Spider-Man, you retard..." And then, in his best Napoleon Dynamite impression he'd say, "Gosh!" and kick the ground before stomping off) and Wolverine can't be in fourteen places at once. Marvel Comics' publishing schedule PROVES that Wolverine can, in fact, exist simultaneously as a member of every X-team, the Avengers, the Fantastic Four and the JLA and that PROVES that Dean Mozian can simultaneously be known as Cameraman AND the Zodiac Killer.
So it is written, so shall it be.
So, I think we're clarified that if we're gonna save any single person, it's gonna be Paul.
Seriously, I think something is wrong with you...
I don't see why we're bringing up Cameramans' zombie killing record prior to the LA incident. Clearly completely justified.
They weren't zombies. [sigh] In order to understand, I have to take you back... Back to the beginning...
It was 1963 when the government began employing Espers--individuals who use more of their mental faculties than the average person--to glimpse the future. All of their precogs reported the same thing: in the new millennium, people would be obsessed with vampires and zombies and other monster archtypes would fall by the wayside. Hoping to combat the onslaught of Twilight fangirls and over-abundance of zombie flicks, the United States government, working with the help of Finland, began to genetically engineer a new breed of monster...
The were-pocalypse was meant to be a plague that would generate a were-frenzy: pop culture would devour the lycanthrophes and a new craze would begin. That was until they were shut down by Dolph Lundgren--Ivan Drago, from Rocky IV.
Dolph's real name was Chester A. Arthur. He was part of another government experiment to clone the greatest president who ever lived. In the process, a bacteria--which eventually became the inspiration for George Lucas' creation "The Force" from the Star Wars movies (which I hear are doing quite well)--imbued him with fantastic powers and made him a knight of the old order. Using the power of the Lundgren, Dolph attempted to shut down the lycan-operation but one specimen escaped: the were-shark.
The were-shark is a mako shark that transforms those it bites into its prodigy: whenever the tide is high, the infected transform into were-sharks at which point their only weakness is coral, from Atlantis, soaked in the blood of a weasel. Dolph Lundgren passed this knowledge onto Dean Mozian and he became the Zodiac Killer, who went on to murder 37 were-sharks.
He then laid low for a while until joining the crew of the House of Representatives as a mild-mannered cameraman. But I know his secret...
